Tired

So I woke up this morning feeling tired. I know what you all are thinking, don't we all wake up tired? Well - not in the literal sense. I woke up emotional and mentally tired. Not from all the work I have been doing lately or all the information that I have been cramming into my brain (which continues to astonish me given the capacity for knowledge). Nope none of these elements were the culprit, I felt TIRED of GIVING so MUCH

I feel ashamed to even admit that I feel this way but it is what it is. I always try to be positive, make jokes, lift others up, look on the bright side - and then I have these random days when I wake up, TIRED. It is not that I want to always be positive, I find this is my fulfilling need in life and usually comes naturally - to be sure and have an essentially joyful impact. Infact it is probably very selfish because I gain so much from giving! I just sometimes hit a WALL when I WAKE up feeling TIRED.

I haven't found a medicinal cure yet which helps me combat these dreary days and I am still searching for clues as to why I have them in the first place. I consistently think about the fact that God never gets TIRED of forgiving me, or TIRED of loving me, or TIRED of blessing me but still I have trouble. I get TIRED of always being the one to make the joke, smile first, or look on the bright side.

Then I realized this morning, sometimes I just want someone to be my smile, my joke or be my positive impact, perhaps this is what I crave. So it just brings me back full circle - I better continue with my positive ways despite my inclination to have "woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning". I know someone else MUST feel TIRED to, and I can only hope to be their SMILE, JOKE or LIGHT for the day.